VivThomas.com BlogThe EX-official VivThomas.com porn blog

The official movie will be available to download on Monday (02/02/09).

Lesbian Encounters is a journey to the roots of VivThomas.com. Six vignettes set to emotional stories compliment the passionate lesbian sex that follows.
Twelve of Viv Thomas’s all time favourite girls come together to celebrate the vintage VT style that helped pave the way for future productions. Lesbian Encounters hails back to the Golden era of VivThomas.com and pays tribute to the very foundations that enabled the director to become the master of Lesbian erotica.

Who the f*@k eats chocolate in the bath? Well this lovely lass for starters. Cadbury hit the jackpot with a bunch of rather suggestive Flake ads in the 80′s. I can imagine how the brainstorming went in that meeting -

Cadbury Boss -- So what does this new chocolate bar of ours look like?

Cadbury exec -- Well it’s phallic shaped.

Cadbury Boss -- Fit bird in a bath sucking on it?

Cadbury exec -- sweet, i’ll get to work.

It’s classic advertising 101. As Bill Hicks said -- ‘I don’t know what the connection is, but i’m buying that fucking product.’ Sex sells, it’s as simple as that.

I was reading this article in the NY Times regarding yet another sexual experiment where they strap different peoples gentiles up to a device which measures swelling of the penis in men and vaginal transudation in women, then show them sexy videos to compare how their minds react different from their privates. All very fascinating stuff, but then why on earth is Meredith Chivers showing the participants videos of the hilarious, overtly sexual bonobo monkey bonking? Like it’s going to stir up the neaderthal in men.

For those unfamiliar with the bonobo, sex plays a role in greetings, conflict resolutions, post-conflict reconciliation, they have sex with their own family members, and they are the only non-human ape to practice face-to-face genital sex, tongue kissing and oral sex. The females also dominate Bonobo society and have lesbian sex with one another.

You know I think they’re actually starting to run out of ideas in the sex toy industry these days.  Check this lame effort out I found on lovehoney’s website. It’s called the “Sex Counter Cock Ring”, which, and I quote, “…actually counts your BPM – otherwise known as Bonks Per Minute…the fun of knowing how many times you’ve thrust per session!”.

Oh my god.  I am lost for words, does anyone really, badly, need to count how many thrusts they have each sex session (I can count mine on one hand).

It gets worse.  In a lame effort to sell units of this gimmicky piece of crap, they encourage you to make a little note of your ‘BPM’ and see if you can up your effort next time.  It aso adds that its perfect for fitness gurus (???????) and competitive couples.  What the fuck?

I have to give it a dash of kudos for coining the phrase ‘Penisometer’, but other than that I would rather spoon my eyes out then spend £9.99 on this shockingly tacky piece of plastic shite.

It’s not even waterproof, so best hope the missus isn’t a gusher.

You can check it out here!

Don’t you dare scoff, this is a real sport. Well i know wrestling is a real sport and by wrestling i don’t mean pumped up pansies prancing around in florescent speedos, hitting each other over the head with plastic chairs. I’m talking about the true art of grappling and submission…with some bikini’s and mud thrown in for good measure. Seriously though, there is a national championship in Canada and as you’d expect it draws quite a crowd. Admittedly that crowd is 90% male with very little interest in seeing text book leg locks. This sport has grown in stature over the last few years though having previously been confined to dingy bars with the intention of attracting more hillbilly custom.

I’m happy to see that they are now trying to break out of that mould and take the sport global. I want to see it at the 2012 Olympic games in London, it would sure beat watching equestrian.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday afternoon and I’d just returned home from football practice. I turned on the TV like I did every Saturday to watch what was every 14 year old boy’s porn substitute – Baywatch. The usual opening credits rolled by, the Hoff in slow mo, brooding look on his face. And then came the moment I never tired of – the lovely Erika Eleniak running along the beach (Pamela Anderson would later replace her). She was amazing, I actually paid a guy at school £1 for a topless newspaper cutting of her. She truly stuck in my mind and all my dreams came true when she popped up and popped out in Steven Seagal’s best ever contribution to cinema – Under Siege (there is no way he’s just a cook with hand speed like that)

So where am I going with this? …well some girls have a profound effect on you. I will never forget Erika, just like I will never forget this lovely little treat. In the porn business girls come and go. They will jump head first into the porn pool only to hop back out 2 months later and you will never see them again. Just like Cassidy here. This 22 year old Hungarian had an incredible look and the first time I saw her I thought WOW, I look forward to working with this girl. Unfortunately she vanished soon after we managed to snap a few tasty pics. In that short time I became a big fan and Cassidy has the honour of joining Erika in my wank ba…….I mean group of favourite girls.

Yep, that is the title of this Blog.  Due to the plot of an episode in the US show ‘Greys Anatomy‘, which was about a man with a broken penis, there has been a sudden flurry of inquiries on internet search engines by worried men.  And who could blame them?

According to an article in the telegraph, the Google search engine has reported that two of the three most searched terms at present are “Penile fracture” and “broken penis”.  This has occurred following the airing of the above mentioned ‘broken penis’ plot line in Grey’s Anatomy.

The above picture is incorrect, in that there is no bone in the penis which can just snap in half.  So  how can a broken penis happen, is it a myth?

Unfortunately it can indeed happen.  It is caused by a “tear in the tunica albuginea, the thick fibrus coat surronding the corpora cavermosum tissue that produces an erection”.  Ouch.  Apparently when it happens some people report a sound like someone popping thier knuckles.  Check this poor chaps account out of what happened to him, best line from it being, “I jumped up, absolutly stunned my dick had gone completley flaccid and looked like Gonzo’s nose…”.

To read more and see the clip click on the read more button: Read the rest of this entry »

Paris, 1931. Henry Miller is writing Tropic Of Cancer. A 19-year-old Uma Thurman is playing his wife in a film adaptation of Anaïs Nin‘s (played by Maria de Medeiros) book - Henry & June, directed by Philip Kaufman (The Unbearable Lightness Of Being.) All the pieces are there for a great movie.

The film is a landmark for the mainstream erotic genre, it was the first film to get the MPAA’s newly introduced NC-17 rating. The controversial film includes scenes of Anaïs slow-dancing (and deep lesbian kissing) with June in an underground lesbian club, Anaïs’ many passionate couplings with Henry during their affair together and simultaneously with her lover/cousin Eduardo (Jean-Philippe Écoffey); also the exhibition of lesbian love-making in a private show in a mirrored brothel room between Henry’s blonde squeeze (Brigitte Lahaie) and another frail prostitute (Maïté Maillé) – when Anaïs advised the aggressive female: “stop pretending to be a man”; the scene of Anaïs’ descriptive and hallucinatory dream-fantasy of sex with June in an upper loft, experiencing ‘abnormal pleasures’ (“I begged her to undress. I asked her to let me see between her legs. As she lay over me, I felt a penis touching me…”); also Anaïs’ climactic love-making with Henry after he had finished his novel ‘Tropic of Cancer’ while Eduardo was downstairs; and the concluding scene of Anais and June getting together for love-making (while Henry was asleep in another room of the house).

I couldn’t find the particular scene I wanted to show here, but I did find these two clips. It’s a film worth checking out, although I did prefer Kaufman’s Unbearable Lightness Of Being.

I stumbled across this web page whilst randomly searching the abyss of the web and it made me chuckle so I thought I’d blog it. It’s basically a list of ‘Strange U.S. Sex Laws’, taken from the ‘Lectric Law Library’s stacks’. Here’s a few that I’ve gleamed from the page:

In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on, and an ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer.

Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car, as if the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. It is however safer to make love in a parked car in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, as Police officers aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks sexual relations are taking place in a parked car must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times, then wait two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Check the link out above if you fancy reading some more, the web page does state that the accuracy of these purported laws is questionable, but it made me smile all the same. Maybe I’ll try and track down some zany U.K. laws for my next blog. For now I’ll leave you with my favorite U.S one, “A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by thier female counterparts”. Yes!

Controversial subject this one. In fact, I wrote a very passionate post about it ages ago, then freaked out and deleted it. I shouldn’t have. Sorry.

At that time a bill was being debated in the UK to make all forms of “extreme porn” illegal and many people were protesting it. As of yesterday, it’s the law. There are many reasons why this is controversial from how the bill came about, to artists who could be affected unfairly by it and most importantly, the liberties of the public; up to 3 years in prison and possibly being put on the Violent and Sex Offender Register. For possessing a photo, or a film.

Extreme porn is defined as as an image which portrays any of the following:

* (a) an act which threatens a person’s life,
* (b) an act which results, or is likely to result, in serious injury to a person’s anus, breasts or genitals,
* (c) an act which involves or appears to involve sexual interference with a human corpse,
* (d) a person performing or appearing to perform an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal (whether dead or alive),

and I’m of the opinion that if someone wants to look at these images, like the one from Hitchcock’s Frenzy that you just looked at; that’s their business. It does not mean they will suddenly become compelled to commit these acts in person. What if someone mentally unstable gets off on Snow White, goes out and kidnaps a woman, takes her into the forest and returns with her heart, finishing the job that the huntsman couldn’t? Are we going to ban the Brothers Grimm & Disney movies? Read the rest of this entry »