Cooking With Cum
Posted by Hugh G Rection | Posted in Eternal Erection | Posted on 06-07-2009
OK you did just read the title right, someone has brought out a cook book called ,”Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes“. Nice. I’ll let the blurb do most of the explaining, it goes like this:
“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all these positives qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you have overcome any initial hesitation.”
O.K. I have a few issues with the blurb, for instance comparing semen to cheese and fine wine is just plain wrong. Also semen remains neglected as a food because it is not a food, it is cum. Can you imagine the joys of going to a restaurant, ordering sea bass with a semen sauce, then sipping your drink whilst the chef takes himself in hand and begins to fire rope after rope of his population pudding all over your main meal. Delightful, would you kindly ask him to wipe his now flaccid penis around the rim of my wine glass so we don’t waste a drop? Marvelous, what’s for dessert, ahh chocolate eclairs…
The book has apparently attracted mixed reviews, one custmer giving extra tips such as, “…when the recipe calls for milk or cheese you could substitute breast milk and from-unda cheese. If the cookbook says to add water use saliva or sweat instead”, mmm yummy. Another rants on about why anyone would want to cook with cum when you know of all the possible diseases that are out there. You can see the product here and some reviews, however the book is currently listed as unavailable. Gutted.
Reminds me of an old Kevin Meaney (American comic) routine. He talks about the Jack-In-The-Box fast food franchise here in the States. “The woman at the drive-thru says to me, “Do you want Jack Sauce with that?” “Noooo, I don’t want Jack Sauce! HOLD THE JACK SAUCE! PLEEEEESE! Who makes this Jack Sauce anyway? A big sweaty chef out back? That ain’t right!”
Very funny blog, Hugh.
Did you know that singer Sarah McLachlan to this day is haunted by the rumor that she published recipes for cooking with semen? I guess it goes around to other various celebs.
Does this mean that I can declare myself a nutritious source of all kinds of vitamins when I want a blowjob?
Thanks Raspberry Rent Boi, I didn’t know Sarah McLachlan is haunted by those rumors, how bizarre.
Hey Jose, don’t forget if that fails, you can always try the classic, ‘you don’t want to damage my sperms DNA by not giving me a blowjob do you?’.