The official movie will be available to download on Monday (02/02/09).
Lesbian Encounters is a journey to the roots of VivThomas.com. Six vignettes set to emotional stories compliment the passionate lesbian sex that follows.
Twelve of Viv Thomas's all time favourite girls come together to celebrate the vintage VT style that helped pave the way for future productions. Lesbian Encounters hails back to the Golden era of VivThomas.com and pays tribute to the very foundations that enabled the director to become the master of Lesbian erotica.
Who the f*@k eats chocolate in the bath? Well this lovely lass for starters. Cadbury hit the jackpot with a bunch of rather suggestive Flake ads in the 80′s. I can imagine how the brainstorming went in that meeting -
Cadbury Boss – So what does this new chocolate bar of ours look like?
Cadbury exec – Well it’s phallic shaped.
Cadbury Boss – Fit bird in a bath sucking on it?
Cadbury exec – sweet, i’ll get to work.
It’s classic advertising 101. As Bill Hicks said – ‘I don’t know what the connection is, but i’m buying that fucking product.’ Sex sells, it’s as simple as that.
I was reading this article in the NY Times regarding yet another sexual experiment where they strap different peoples gentiles up to a device which measures swelling of the penis in men and vaginal transudation in women, then show them sexy videos to compare how their minds react different from their privates. All very fascinating stuff, but then why on earth is Meredith Chivers showing the participants videos of the hilarious, overtly sexual bonobo monkey bonking? Like it’s going to stir up the neaderthal in men.
For those unfamiliar with the bonobo, sex plays a role in greetings, conflict resolutions, post-conflict reconciliation, they have sex with their own family members, and they are the only non-human ape to practice face-to-face genital sex, tongue kissing and oral sex. The females also dominate Bonobo society and have lesbian sex with one another.
You know I think they’re actually starting to run out of ideas in the sex toy industry these days. Check this lame effort out I found on lovehoney’s website. It’s called the “Sex Counter Cock Ring”, which, and I quote, “…actually counts your BPM – otherwise known as Bonks Per Minute…the fun of knowing how many times you’ve thrust per session!”.
Oh my god. I am lost for words, does anyone really, badly, need to count how many thrusts they have each sex session (I can count mine on one hand).
It gets worse. In a lame effort to sell units of this gimmicky piece of crap, they encourage you to make a little note of your ‘BPM’ and see if you can up your effort next time. It aso adds that its perfect for fitness gurus (???????) and competitive couples. What the fuck?
I have to give it a dash of kudos for coining the phrase ‘Penisometer’, but other than that I would rather spoon my eyes out then spend £9.99 on this shockingly tacky piece of plastic shite.
It’s not even waterproof, so best hope the missus isn’t a gusher.
Don’t you dare scoff, this is a real sport. Well i know wrestling is a real sport and by wrestling i don’t mean pumped up pansies prancing around in florescent speedos, hitting each other over the head with plastic chairs. I’m talking about the true art of grappling and submission…with some bikini’s and mud thrown in for good measure. Seriously though, there is a national championship in Canada and as you’d expect it draws quite a crowd. Admittedly that crowd is 90% male with very little interest in seeing text book leg locks. This sport has grown in stature over the last few years though having previously been confined to dingy bars with the intention of attracting more hillbilly custom.
I’m happy to see that they are now trying to break out of that mould and take the sport global. I want to see it at the 2012 Olympic games in London, it would sure beat watching equestrian.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday afternoon and I’d just returned home from football practice. I turned on the TV like I did every Saturday to watch what was every 14 year old boy’s porn substitute – Baywatch. The usual opening credits rolled by, the Hoff in slow mo, brooding look on his face. And then came the moment I never tired of – the lovely Erika Eleniak running along the beach (Pamela Anderson would later replace her). She was amazing, I actually paid a guy at school £1 for a topless newspaper cutting of her. She truly stuck in my mind and all my dreams came true when she popped up and popped out in Steven Seagal’s best ever contribution to cinema – Under Siege (there is no way he’s just a cook with hand speed like that)
So where am I going with this? …well some girls have a profound effect on you. I will never forget Erika, just like I will never forget this lovely little treat. In the porn business girls come and go. They will jump head first into the porn pool only to hop back out 2 months later and you will never see them again. Just like Cassidy here. This 22 year old Hungarian had an incredible look and the first time I saw her I thought WOW, I look forward to working with this girl. Unfortunately she vanished soon after we managed to snap a few tasty pics. In that short time I became a big fan and Cassidy has the honour of joining Erika in my wank ba…….I mean group of favourite girls.
Yep, that is the title of this Blog. Due to the plot of an episode in the US show ‘Greys Anatomy’, which was about a man with a broken penis, there has been a sudden flurry of inquiries on internet search engines by worried men. And who could blame them?
According to an article in the telegraph, the Google search engine has reported that two of the three most searched terms at present are “Penile fracture” and “broken penis”. This has occurred following the airing of the above mentioned ‘broken penis’ plot line in Grey’s Anatomy.
The above picture is incorrect, in that there is no bone in the penis which can just snap in half. So how can a broken penis happen, is it a myth?
Unfortunately it can indeed happen. It is caused by a “tear in the tunica albuginea, the thick fibrus coat surronding the corpora cavermosum tissue that produces an erection”. Ouch. Apparently when it happens some people report a sound like someone popping thier knuckles. Check this poor chaps account out of what happened to him, best line from it being, “I jumped up, absolutly stunned my dick had gone completley flaccid and looked like Gonzo’s nose…”.
To read more and see the clip click on the read more button:
The good news is that the injury is rare and it mainly affects young men during sexual intercourse. So slowly, softly seems to be the wise way to enjoy sex from now on. It is treated with pain relief, ice packs and anti-inflammatory drugs (unless you’ve damaged your urethra which will require surgical correction).
It can happen to anyone however, even the original Dirty Dog “Ian Tate’. Check out this clip from ‘Dirty Dog 3: Cross Breeding‘, where the Dog finds out first hand what a penile fracture looks and feels like.
The film is a landmark for the mainstream erotic genre, it was the first film to get the MPAA’s newly introduced NC-17 rating. The controversial film includes scenes of AnaIs slow-dancing (and deep lesbian kissing) with June in an underground lesbian club, AnaIs’ many passionate couplings with Henry during their affair together and simultaneously with her lover/cousin Eduardo (Jean-Philippe Écoffey); also the exhibition of lesbian love-making in a private show in a mirrored brothel room between Henry’s blonde squeeze (Brigitte Lahaie) and another frail prostitute (MaIte Maille) – when AnaIs advised the aggressive female: “stop pretending to be a man”; the scene of AnaIs’ descriptive and hallucinatory dream-fantasy of sex with June in an upper loft, experiencing ‘abnormal pleasures’ (“I begged her to undress. I asked her to let me see between her legs. As she lay over me, I felt a penis touching me…”); also AnaIs’ climactic love-making with Henry after he had finished his novel ‘Tropic of Cancer’ while Eduardo was downstairs; and the concluding scene of Anais and June getting together for love-making (while Henry was asleep in another room of the house).
I couldn’t find the particular scene I wanted to show here, but I did find these two clips. It’s a film worth checking out, although I did prefer Kaufman’s Unbearable Lightness Of Being.
I stumbled across this web page whilst randomly searching the abyss of the web and it made me chuckle so I thought I’d blog it. It’s basically a list of ‘Strange U.S. Sex Laws’, taken from the ‘Lectric Law Library’s stacks’. Here’s a few that I’ve gleamed from the page:
In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on, and an ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car, as if the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term. It is however safer to make love in a parked car in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, as Police officers aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks sexual relations are taking place in a parked car must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times, then wait two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
Check the link out above if you fancy reading some more, the web page does state that the accuracy of these purported laws is questionable, but it made me smile all the same. Maybe I’ll try and track down some zany U.K. laws for my next blog. For now I’ll leave you with my favorite U.S one, “A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by thier female counterparts”. Yes!
Extreme porn is defined as as an image which portrays any of the following:
* (a) an act which threatens a person's life,
* (b) an act which results, or is likely to result, in serious injury to a person's anus, breasts or genitals,
* (c) an act which involves or appears to involve sexual interference with a human corpse,
* (d) a person performing or appearing to perform an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal (whether dead or alive),
and I’m of the opinion that if someone wants to look at these images, like the one from Hitchcock’s Frenzy that you just looked at; that’s their business. It does not mean they will suddenly become compelled to commit these acts in person. What if someone mentally unstable gets off on Snow White, goes out and kidnaps a woman, takes her into the forest and returns with her heart, finishing the job that the huntsman couldn’t? Are we going to ban the Brothers Grimm & Disney movies?
It could’ve been worse; the internet in its entirety was initially blamed for the brutal murder that sparked the fire to ban this filth! And if that were banned, well, you would have neither us, our lovely forum or this blog. Shit! It could’ve been much worse, it could’ve been every form of media banned! Thankfully, the ever logical government (on the same day it reclassified cannabis to grade B due to the notable shift towards social chaos in the previous four class C years) has singled out the images it makes available, after all in this day and age; you can never be sure of the agenda of a photographer.
The fact that i grew up in England meant that regardless of how good i was at sports during my school years, there was no way gorgeous 18 year old girls would be dressed in skimpy outfits cheering me on from the sidelines. If i’m honest it probably would have distracted me but i do feel a bit cheated. The hoopla, razzmatazz fever that the US pump into their sports has meant that 16 year old school boys grace the covers of magazines, newspapers and nightly highlight reels and are stars before they even sign a pro contract. When i scored a hat-trick for my school team the best i could hope for was a pat on the back and exemption from taking the nets down after the game.
Unfortunately there weren't enough attractive girls at my school to make up a cheerleading squad. In the US however it is highly competitive and there are rigorous trials for those who want to…..well…..cheer. Those who do make the grade are generally super fit, super gorgeous and super flexible, the 3 things i look for in a girlfriend. A cheerleader really knows she’s hit the big time when LeBron James comes down on top of her from a alley-oop slam dunk or she’s doing cartwheels in front of 80000 people on Superbowl Sunday.
The cheerleader scenario is probably the most overused in porn and yet it still hits the spot. Debbie does Dallas is an all time classic and has spawned many spin offs proving that we will never tire of these pom-pom wielding babes.
Occasionally I happen upon a girl that I haven’t seen before in our huge archive of photographs (almost 150,000 of them!) and am literally blown away.
Take young Rachel here for example posing in 1996 next to what looks like the River Thames, but maybe a private lake of sorts. What excited me the most was the feast of photographic morsels to go with this one: she has nine other super sexy sets on her model page!
The sex scene from Wild Orchid is included here most notably because it was used as an example for why the MPAA needed another cinema rating for films which were made for adults but did not deserve an “X” rating (usually reserved for pornography with scenes of blatantly unsimulated, explicit sex.) Subsequently the NC-17 rating was introduced in America, and later the flood of erotic thrillers making money at the box-office, the perfect Saturday night date flick.
Carre Otis and Mickey Rourke became romantically invloved during the making of the film (and later a six year marriage), which led to rumours that their love scenes were real, something both actors deny but the director remains ambiguous about. The love scenes are certainly hot for the time, I remember that apart from a Danish porno VHS my friend copied for me, this was the strongest display of sex I’d ever seen in a movie. I particularly like the use of sexy-jazz (as I call it) and tribal drums in this clip, saxin’ it up to the max!
I was watching a movie on the weekend called Just Buried (it’s not very good), and what struck me immediately was how damn hot the lead actress was.
Her name I later found out is Rose Byrne, an Australian actress of Irish/Scottish decent. I kept thinking she reminded me of someone, and then it came to me – Zara!
I thought she looked just like our Zara! It might have been the eyes, those same hazelnut brown eyes framed by a glazed, melancholy expression. They could be sisters, right? I wonder if she has a Zara body too?
Following on from Sean’s post we have here another example of the classic nip slip. During the shooting of a scene for the Lesbian opus “Portrait of a Lesbian” somehow no-one noticed that Rachel had half (well, more like 3/4) of her left boob hanging out of her pink dress. I have often wondered how a woman doesn’t notice something like this, I’m sure you’d feel the sensation of it sticking out but perhaps not. Maybe it’s just my obsessive male gaze that makes this such a significant event! Either way, Spunk nor I were too tuned in at this moment because this slipped by unnoticed! (groan) To see the clip, click “read more”
I don’t know about you but I like Sundays. For me Sundays have never been about going to church. I talk directly to God, no middleman required.
Well these days it seems less people have been attending Sunday school and more people have been surfing the porn-ocean. Sundays always go one of two ways – either the significant other is staying the weekend, so on Sunday morning you both wake to the sound of next door watching Songs Of Praise in 5.1 Dolby, the indulgence of Saturday night still drying in the mouth, of one you instigates sleepy-sex and you spend all day half-dressed fucking intensely in every room in the apartment; or…the significant other is busy/has long since left you/is with someone else, so you spend all day hanging out in your dressing-gown watching Life On Earth documentaries and trying at all costs to avoid T4, before getting bored and surfing the web for porn.
At some point or another a celebrity will be caught with a boob out. It’s inevitable considering just how relentless and predatory paparazzi are today. That one shot can be sold around the world and enable that lucky pap to move out of his parents basement, at least for a month until he’s spent that money on medical bills from getting smacked around left, right and center by annoyed celebs.
Some celebs actually get them out intentionally, Janet Jackson for example. She claimed it just popped out, of course it did Janet, that’s why you put a big fancy star around your nipple. As Chris Rock said ‘no one wants to see a 40 year old titty, that’s your mans titty. Now a 20 year old titty….community titty.’
Sometimes it can be quite disappointing, the moment you actually get to see the superstar breast that you imagined would be perfect only for it to be a saggy, misshapen mess.
It happens in sport as well, obviously because they are jumping around a hell of alot more than some celeb on a red carpet. Either way it’s always a bit of a treat when they let something hang out whether it be intentional or not.
One for a fan of The Man of Steel; Falcon. Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman’s Co-creator Joe Shuster by Craig Yoe is a fascinating looking collection of unknown and banned art by the legendary comic book artist. Created in the early 50′s when Shuster was having a hard time after a bitter legal battle with DC Comics over the copyright for Superman, the images were for a series called Nights of Horror which was sold illicitly until banned by the U.S. Senate.
The book includes reproductions of these images, an introduction by Stan Lee and an essay that provides a detailed account of the scandal and the murder trial that resulted from the publication of this racy material.
Fascinating to think that perhaps, just like Bill says of Kal-El; Shuster’s DC pencil and ink were his “costume”, while these controversial, sexual images were his “secret identity”.
Alright, I have much better ones lined up, and I know this isn’t strictly a sex scene per se, but as it’s Friday I wanted to do a double-helping of early 80′s boobs! Fast Times At Ridgemont High might well be best known for stoner Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) but me it was Jennifer Jason Leigh’s innocent 15 year-old freshman student Stacy Hamilton being deflowered in a baseball dugout, and later having sex in a pool bathhouse (ok there’s a slightly deeper context to these scenes which I was not aware of when first watching this film), and also Phoebe Cates giving her friend a ‘how-to’ lesson with a carrot on how to deliver oral sex to a guy, and the fantasy dream – girl – emerging – from – the – swimming – pool – in – slow – motion – and – opening – her – bright – red – bikini – top – from – the – middle – sequence. Ahhhh, lovely.
Now, I’m not one for celebrity gossip but when a headline like that comes along, my integrity vanishes as quickly as it takes to read it. Don’t get me wrong, I still couldn’t care less about the other aspects of the life of the “celebrity” involved in this supposed scenario (here, she’s interchangeable with any woman below the age of 30) but what the headline has cleverly done is conjure imagery, in my mind, something like what’s in this clip. Except I’m in it as well.
She told Gay Times and they ran with the subtle cover quote “I Snogged Lesbian Twins” then The Sun got hold of the story and reworked it with the word “romp” unexpectedly contained in the phrase. I’m guessing that’s how the broken telephone headline subsequently ended up as it is here; full blown lesbian sex. The unique way that in British tabloids the verb “romp” can mean pretty much anything from “she sat on his lap” to “they had a 12 person, booze and drug-fueled orgy, covered in oil, in full view of everyone in the club”. Use a thesaurus, for fuck’s sake.
According to The Times: “Scientists at Newcastle University have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner's bank balance. They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms.”
Or the more frequently she fakes them in order to sustain a relationship with
No. No comment. I’m leaving this minefield to you guys.
In 1969, during the Vietnam War, John Lennon (a working class hero) and Yoko Ono held a two week-long bed-ins for Peace, one in Amsterdam (what better place to stay in one room for a week?) and one in Montreal. I cry when I think that some fucker shot Lennon in the back, I often wonder how much influence those people like John Lennon would have had if they were still alive today, unfortunately many of them are tragically taken from us too early. Please click on that last link by the way and watch it.
Well, in 2008, Peaches and Zara held a similar bed-in over a weekend in Budapest (which coincidentally also brought tears to my eyes) in The Radisson Hotel suite 237. Except this bed-in wasn’t for peace, although it was done through the eyes of love. You can read more about it here. We’re planning on making the whole thing available to download this year.
For now enjoy these images.
You may say I’m a dreamer….but I’m not the only one.
There is a new condom which will soon be available this year which has a scale printed along the side in centimeters and inches so your partner can see how you measure up in bed.
The Condometric can fit a penis up to 25 cm (9.8 inches) long, and as an added afterthought, it would seem, also comes in lime, cherry and banana flavors (Why anyone would want to suck a banana flavored dick is beyond me).
I think I’ll be sticking with traditional condoms as this scares the shit out of me. Can you imagine on a one night stand and your sexual partner for the evening pulls out a Condometric and she’s comparing you to her last fling. Fuck that.
Also if your the kind of guy who likes to visit the odd brothel on occasion, can you imagine if they have some kind of leader board up in reception, with a winning prize at the end of the year for the lady whose client had the biggest dick. I can see the winner now stating, “Hell i had to put two on him, end to end”.
It will be available in both metric and imperial measurements and its worth going to see the article here, just to read the views expressed by people, underneath the short article. One who has used the prototype says, “My girlfriend just left me”. Another states, rather angrily it would seem, “Who the hell came up with this damned thing? My girlfriend and some of her friends were testing out Curiosite’s Condometric prototype and they met up one day to compare results. This isn’t funny”.
To find out more about the Condometric you can visit Curiosite web page here. Me, I’m off to buy a penis pump!
This is one I remember from when I was 15, which was a time when casually watching a Christopher Walken thriller and stumbling upon a hot lesbian scene was like discovering the missing link. Bi-sexual Anne Heche (Donnie Brasco; Wag The Dog) and Joan Chen (Twin Peaks; Lust, Caution) co-star in the movie, about a money launderer (Walken) who falls for call-girl Alex (Heche) who in turn falls for the guys attractive Chinese wife Virginia (Chen). Most interesting is that it is directed by Donald Cammell (the Scottish filmmaker who made Performance with Nic Roeg and friend of Marlon Brando who he co-wrote Fan-Tan with), and co-written by Cammell and his wife China Kong. Cammell committed suicide shortly after seeing the film drastically re-edited by its producers. Later a “director’s cut” version by China Kong was released in 2000 to critical acclaim. Harsh.
Anyway the scene is pretty hot, one of the better lesbian scenes in a mainstream movie, in my opinion, the way they move together is well done, typically when this kind of scene is done we don’t get the impression that the girls are touching each others pussies. I like the way Heche takes control, gently brushing Joan Chen’s arms at the beginning, kissing her neck, and the end when she seems to be really rubbing Joan Chen’s pussy is great. I have a feeling that Heche enjoyed filming this, Cammell saying “action” and Chen saying “hang on there is something sticky and wet on my thigh.”
This time the selfless industry of porn, the one that keeps on giving, is giving back to the land we have, for want of a better expression; “fucked”. Fuck For Forest is a non-profit eco porn organization who are attempting to use porn to draw attention to and collect money for the Earth’s fragile, threatened nature.
Porn has always been one of the more environmentally friendly forms of entertainment (reduced production costs, shared and recycled VHS tapes) and now Fuck For Forest are taking it to the next level. Yes, the world is in trouble. Yes, you probably want to do something about it. But will you? Or will you just put it to one side as you surf the net again tonight looking for more porn? Well now you can combine the two!
Fan of breasts me, big lovely ones…simple as that. But when those breasticles are accompanied by a gorgeous face and bod, well i’ll be getting down on that knee. Recently came across Kitty Lea ( i wish, but you know what i mean). This 20 year old English rose is out of this world. She can be seen gracing the usual pile of lads mags at the moment but fingers crossed she’ll climb up a couple more shelves in the local newsagents if you catch my drift. I can dream.
Ok, this is a delicate and controversial one but I think worthy of a mention due to it’s infamy. The plot to Sam Peckinpah’s powerful film Straw Dogs is fairly straightforward, but under the surface this ambivalent movie is dense with complex layers open to interpretation.
Dustin Hoffman (David) and his pert, super-sexy British wife Amy (played by the lovelySusan George) are back in her hometown of Cornwall, where she revels in teasing the local men working on their cottage (including her ex-boyfriend Charlie) with her perky breasts and mini-skirts. Her husbands condescending attitude of superiority also taunts their envy, provoking them to take something that he believes ‘belongs’ to him. Although Amy clearly enjoys flaunting her sexuality in front of them she does not want to feel threatened, it’s like she’s playing her own fantasy game with them, while also testing her husbands ability to be jealous, without ever realizing that a violent reality might impose itself on her. – (the clip after the click!)
Clearly this is not a just a simple rape scene, it has an disturbing, underlying ambiguity which has raised great debates. For me it is a rape scene, there is no doubt about it, but there are moments where its ambivalence shows. David’s passive-aggressive submissive behavior has made Amy desire a strong man who wants her, and Charlie is just that, but she does not want to have sex with him, for her it is enough that he is there. Amy invites Charlie into the house, having already flirted with him (in a very non-playful manner) several times, and she does not quite resist his insistent advances all that much, she even touches him and hugs him briefly with gentle passion, before crying and giving herself up to him. It’s only when the second assailant shows does the horror and brutality of the scene become so clear-cut.
Is this all part of a female fantasy we have heard about? It’s prevalent in other movies, like the beginning of Luis Bunuel’sBelle De Jour where Catherine Deneuve’s bored housewife Severine escapes the banality of her life with fantasies of being gang-raped and whipped while her husband watches, in that movie she becomes a prostitute to try and live out her fantasies, genuinely wishing to feel a man dominate and take her.
In my mind no woman would ever want to be violated like this, but perhaps that is part of the unconscious fantasy. When Amy is defiled against her will, perhaps her own fantasies have come crashing into her real life in an all to savage and real way, and in her utter helplessness the only thing she can do is ensure Charlie doesn’t hurt her by appearing to enjoy it. At one point, so upset by the experience, that she actually asks Charlie to comfort her. Cleverly, the scene is intercut with shots of David having sex with her, then out hunting (where is his when this is happening). Is she thinking of her husband, because it’s at this point where she perceivably begins to enjoy it, or perhaps she wants to force a jealous reaction from him?
Or is Peckinpah juxtaposing the two episodes, the locals finally getting their ‘pray’ and at the same time David getting his – the bird he kills. In this particular deplorable competition women appear as trophies, like the dead bird. They are the victims of the male competition which finds it’s expressions through violence. Although both rapists and hunter feel a tinge of regret after the fact, it does not change them in any way. It’s an important scene in cinema, and one which still holds it’s power even today.
Bromance, in case like me you’ve just heard about it, is defined as “A non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close”. It’s a joining of the two words ‘brother’ and ‘romance’.
There’s even now a cheesy MTV show called Bromance and according to the article by Sundance review on the film Humpday, there is a flick coming to theaters in Spring called ‘I Love You Man’, which is, “…carrying some bromantic-comedy-of-the-year-buzz”.
So at last there seems to be a new word to replace the otherwise gay sounding word of ‘Guy Love’, which i had heard was the term to explain two close heterosexual males before this new word came on the scene. Who says Bromance is dead eh?
Freida Pinto (hello there) is one of the few Indian actress to be making her screen debut in a ‘Hollywood’ movie. The 24 year old was born in Mumbai and after graduating from college started modeling and starring in commercials. Her career has just recently been giving a kick-start by Brit director Danny Boyle, casting her in his new movie Slumdog Millionaire. Freida comes from a Mangalorean Catholic community which is a prominent Christian community in Bombay, her father a senior bank manager and mother a principal at a high school, so her life didn’t exactly start out in the slums.
I for one, think she is startlingly beautiful. What she is like as an actress is yet to be seen, but whichever way that falls for her 2009 will surely see her on the What’s Hot What’s Not List (on the hot side), gracing the pages of middle-shelf porn mags FHM and Maxim, and if she’s lucky starring as the lead female role in Jason Statham’s new film “The Transporter 4: Transport This Motherfucker,” where he accepts a mission driving his Audi through India to the Pakistani border to deliver a bomb to evil militants before realizing the error of his ways, turning on them, and in the process falling in love with a local Indian girl who works in a sweatshop making trainers for Nike.
Anyone who enjoyed the first series of Green Porno will be happy to know that a second series will be shown on the Sundance Channel, starting May 5th 2009.
Anyone who doesn’t know what Green Porno is (I didn’t until about 10 minutes ago) firstly; imagine a series of short films on the sexual habits and mating rituals of various animals. Then imagine it being conceived, written and directed by Isabella Rossellini. Finally; picture Isabella herself dressing up as the creatures and re-enacting the diverse forms of fornication with the help of cardboard cut-outs. Yeah.
Scientifically accurate, hilarious and bizarre. If I had to sum up Green Porno in one word; genius. Who’d have thought that being married to David Lynch for 5 years would have led to something like this?
Let’s face it fellas, there is only one reason why we watch this sport, it’s like free porn. These girls are super fit and wear next to nothing whilst diving all over the place. And the best part is they slap, hug and grope each other throughout. I was very disappointed at the lack of coverage during the Beijing Olympics last year. Instead i had to watch those gymnasts flying all over the place…..i survived. It has to be said though, Women’s Beach Volleyball is a gift from God.
I like Halle Berry. Actually no scrap that, Halle Berry makes me want to paint, sing, dance, then cut one of my ears off and mail it too her. She’s ravishing. When she collected that Raspberry Award I was as hard as a Rubik’s Cube, I could have comfortably hung several wet towels from my loins. I own Catwoman, that’s how much I like Halle Berry.
I was 21 when I saw Monsters Ball in the cinema, I took a girl on a date to watch it in my hometown. About 25 minutes after this scene the old-fella was still trying to tear an air-hole in my jeans, at one point my date’s hand brushed over it, I know she felt it, but she never said anything. For a film of such dramatic human tragedy she must have wondered what was going through my head.
It’s an intensely erotic piece of cinema. Two lonely people with such messed up lives, they suddenly reach out to one another in a desperate act to feel human warmth, to feel love, if only for a few minutes. Passion spills violently on the floor as they abandon everything for those moments. Berry’s cries of “make me feel good…make me feel good…” showing her desolation.
Bob Thornton must have had to use electrical duct-tape to strap his penis down. It’s a frantic, naked and raw scene. Great stuff.
Dr Yvonne K. Fulbright, the founder of Sexuality Source Inc, has busted wide open six commonly believed sexual myths. Nice one.
First on her list is the myth that Viagra is not 100% effective, meaning you still wont get full wood unless you have an element of desire present. However i don’t understand why you’d be taking Viagra if you were with someone so undesirable to you in the first place. Surely you just wouldn’t want to have sex with them anyway, blaming your flopping appendage with a sigh of relief.
Second up was that the presence of a hymen is an indicator that a female is a virgin, and if it is broken then she has had intercourse. I actually knew about this one as I got told they can be broken during varioius activities such as horse riding and gymnastics. The expert also says that since girls have hymens of different sizes and openings, some might appear to not have a hymen at all.
The third myth to be derailed was that the best method of birth control was the old pulling out before the male orgasm. I think we all knew deep down that the old pulling out wasn’t the best method ever but sometimes you just get carried away and don’t want to put your wellies on before you jump into the puddle. I’d still say its better then the ‘lucky dip’ method, which funnily enough is the fifth myth to be debunked, that women can’t get pregnant if they aren’t ovulating. The expert said this was simply untrue along with the earlier fact that pregnancy could occur at any time during unprotected sex, whether or not a male had ejaculated.
The fourth myth was that oral sex does not put people at risk for sexually transmitted diseases, was also deemed a misconception (a pretty obvious one if you ask me, i mean would you lick something covered in warts, me neither). The sixth and last myth to be banished forever by her research is linked to this one, in that Fulbright debunked the myth contraceptive pills protect against STD’s. Again fairly obvious to me, but if it helps someone out there, then it was worth writing this.
Personally I’m just glad she left two of my favorite myths alone so i can go on believing them. They are firstly, that an empty sweet wrapper serves as an acceptable alternative to a condom when needs must. Secondly, that having sex standing up means your partner wont get pregnant as the sperm cant swim upwards to the ovaries. Awesome, I’m off to buy a mars bar!
You can view the article here, although for some reason they insist on calling Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright a ‘he’, when quite clearly she is a she.
For those with an Attack of the 50ft Women fetish I thought I’d share this rather incredible and oddly disturbing clip from “The Sultans Elephant,” a spectacular street theatre display which took place in London in May 2006 by the French group Royale Deluxe. It takes a crew of over 30 operators to bring Giant Girl to life. For the night performance she plays a scratchy old record of Yves Montand Rue St. Vincent, strips slowly before climbing into a cold-water tin bath with milky white water. After softening her hard wooden skin she changes into white French stockings and underwear, then she begins a solo masturbation scene under the yellow street lights. It’s quite beautiful.
No, not the Drew Barrymore/Jessica Alba train-wreck of a movie.
A nude picture of Madonna taken in 1979 when she was just 20 years old has gone on auction at Christies. It’s said to be the most explicit shot of the pop icon/dancer/singer ever taken, and is valued at $10-15,000.
An American photographer, Lee Friedlander, took the black and white snap for a series of nudes he was working on. I like it, very natural, raw beauty. Madonna was paid £17 for her work that day, which in 1979 was enough for a new pair of bell bottoms, an ounce of weed, and Al Pacino’s sex-change operation.
Lynch casts his actors from pictures (somewhat like we do!) and only informed his leading ladies that they would be filming a love scene-with each other during the last two weeks of shooting. “On the day [of shooting], we were definitely getting lost in the moment,” Watts reveals, explaining that there were nevertheless plenty of embarrassed giggles between takes. Harring says, smiling, “When we were done, I was like,’I wish I had a boyfriend.’I mean, my face was flushed.”
Lynch is renowned for not explaining the meanings and symbolism within his movies so I am not going to even try and dive into the plot of Mulholland Drive, but when this love scene erupts in the movie such a sexual tension has been built-up between the two lead ladies that it’s an incredibly sensual moment, I remember feeling inspired by the way Lynch managed to make this so beautiful. “I’m in love with you…I’m in love with you.” Wow. Great use of music too.
Back in November I posted about the world’s first iPod compatible sex toy. Well, the former Apple executive Suki Dunham who created it has just stepped up to the next level with the OhMiBod Freestyle; the world’s first wireless iPod compatible sex toy!
It was previewed at this year’s AVN Adult Entertainment Expo and will be available late March. Here’s a little clip where it’s demonstrated to someone from Gearlog with selective hearing.
Francis Ford Coppola was one of the finest movie makers around in the 70s, making such instant classics as The Godfather Part I and II and Apocalypse Now. But it is little known that the bearded madman first started out making porno movies while earning Roger Cormans trust, Corman (King of the B’s) famously gave starts to the careers of some of the greatest directors and actors of all-time, including Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, Martin Scorsese, James Cameron and many others. It is also rumoured that Brian DePalma started out making porn movies in the late 60s, and although I couldn’t find any confirmation of this, there is this interview where he admits to watching a lot of porn, which is good enough for me.
I leave you two clips - this one which I was reminded of while getting The Godfather trailer for a link, and the one below of a brilliant trailer for Stallone’s first film, The Italian Stallion (1970) and perhaps his finest acting job until Daylight some years later.
The 2009 Female Mechanics calender features another group of women not giving a flying monkey wrench about the media’s total bombardment of aspirational images. The images of these professionals certainly challenge stereotypes and my own preconceptions of the typical tool wielding woman. I always assumed they all looked like Sammy-Jane here.
Following on from Hugh G’s post i thought i’d throw up the video link that i think him and Spunk are referring too. Classic clip this, the lovely lass deep throats and then takes it like a trooper. I remember a former member of staff who shall remain nameless (Mates) who after getting back from a two week location shoot treated his girlfriend to the exact same thing. Check it here.
Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than eating a girls pussy, savoring the smells and flavours, and letting her know so. There’s no denying that it’s something every man/woman should do for their girl to make them feel special. As Pacino says to his nephew in Scent Of A Woman when detecting a slight sexual frustration in the guys wife, “…you’re so wrapped up in the sugar business you’re forgetting the taste of the REAL HONEY! Whoo-haa!”
Some women are nervous about letting their partner perform cunnilingus on them because of the ridiculous stigma attached to the smell/taste, and they need to be gently coaxed into believing that there is nothing to be worried about. On the other hand, some men are nervous about doing it because they feel they don’t know what they are doing, and perhaps might make a fool of themselves. There are lots of tips and guides (some by women too) but they really don’t amount to much, I mean spelling out letters on her vagina, please.
The main debate is, are women better at eating pussy than men? Video if you click….
Now it might seem obvious, women know womens bodies better than men do, but by that same regard are men better at blowjobs? I honestly can’t say. Some women are spectacular at fellatio, others aren’t, surely it’s the same with men and cunnilingus? I think it’s about getting to know your partner, once you get to know your girl in bed you can drive her crazy knowing the particular tricks and nuances that rock her world. I do suspect that on the whole there are more women that are better at it than there are men, because men are generally lazy, selfish lovers, but hey, not all of us. I can say honestly, from experience, that not all women are good at cunnilingus, I’ve worked with girls before now who don’t have a damn clue! They don’t even know where the clit is! I promise you. I’ve had to step in and give lessons.
Anyway, as a little bonus I have included a short clip here from the movie MOST SUBSCRIBED, as Peaches eats out her girlfriend Gina (these girls obviously know each others bodies very well). I notice that both girls have the same kind of technique, they like it when two fingers gently swirl around inside the vagina, stretching it ever so gently, as the tongue caresses the clit lightly but consistently. In fact, in this scene Gina has three (count them!) orgasms, about one minute apart from each other as Peaches employs this technique, broken up with some sucks and slurps of the pussy. Exercise techniques can be found here.
Here’s an image that unites a few passions at VT World Headquarters; lovely ladies and golf. They’ve also thrown circa 1920′s bathing suits into the mix for added pleasure. It’s as refreshing as sitting on a block of ice to see girls relaxed, natural, enjoying themselves like this. In an age before Photoshop.
You can find many “Best Movie Sex Scenes” lists on the website, so as an avid lover of both movies and sex I thought it was about time that I compile my own.
I’ll start with an early one, from the Nic Roeg movie Don’t Look Now (1973). The movie revolves around the breakdown of the marriage between Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie after their daughter tragically drowns in an accident at their home. It’s a quite haunting movie actually, influential and groundbreaking at the time.
The love scene was unconventionally graphic for the time which lead to speculation that it was unsimulated, although I doubt that is true. Saying that, what woman could resist a haircut-tash combo like Sutherlands? The scene was also innovative because of the way it was edited, the sex being intercut with images of the couple getting dressed to go out for dinner, which was later paid “homage” to by Soderbergh in that Cloony movie he made with Jenny From The Block. This kind of unorthodox editing I remember most prominently from Sam Peckinpah movies (more to come on him).
Women’s tennis seems to produce an abundance of hot participants. Anna, Maria, Jelena….i could go on. The little table version of the sport however has produced quite the opposite, up until now. Introducing Biba Golic. The 31 year old Serbian is certainly doing her part to boost the viewing figures of this of this funny little sport. A sport dominated by the Chinese, Biba is now well up there with the best. Known as the Anna Kournikova of Table Tennis i just hope she doesn’t fall for some crooning grease ball.
Anyone familiar with the Blaxploitation genre will have heard of actor, director, screenwriter, playwright, novelist, stuntman and composer Melvin Van Peebles.
Made in 1971, Sweet Sweetbacks Baadasssss Song was one of the first ‘mainstream’ (I’m not even sure you can call it that) films to contain several real sex scenes, which might have been a contributing factor to the films rating and subsequent tagline – “Rated X by an all-white jury.”
Van Peebles cast himself in the main role (someone had to do it), and while performing (method acting) in one of the films many unsimulated sex scenes contracted gonorrhea, he then successfully filed for workers compensation for contracting the STD.
Linking to Spunk’s blog post about the end of the hourglass figure, Scientist have recently discovered a hormone linked to the hour glass body shape and are loosley calling it the Marilyn Monroe hormone.
The hormone know as ‘oestradoll’ also shows elevated confidence and a greater inclination to have sex outside of thier current relationship, according to US based research. The ovarian steriod hormone is also associated with having large breasts, symemetrical face and a low waist-to-hip ratio
So maybe these career women Spunk was blogging about just have lower levels of this recently discovered hormone. It would be interesting to find out if career women are less likely to have an affair then women with an hour glass figure.
Personally I’d like to isolate and bottle this hormone so i could inject it into every wafer thin model i see and watch her bloom before me into a beautiful, shapely woman.
When I think about the classic hourglass figure I usually conjure up images of Marylin Monroe and her famous hip-to-waist ratio. Women looked different in the 50s, I guess it was before looking like a smack addict who hasn’t slept or eaten in five days became the fashion. So it’s nice that girls like Eve Angel and Jenni(who incidentally don’t use the horse) still have those kinds of figures and look damn fine showing them off!
According to a new study “career women are less likely to have hourglass figures due to the stress associated with their jobs,” and that working women these days tend to carry fat around their stomachs not their hips. Nice how they make these studies for us huh? Makes you feel like a hundred dollars. I mean women spend decades fighting sexual discrimination in the work place to be accepted as equals amongst men, only to be told that being a career woman makes you fat. Then they get bombarded with photoshopped images of tubular celebrities who have all-day everyday to work-out and exercise their bodies under the supervision of their own personal trainer, Manuel the gay Spaniard, who has a bronzed body and abs that could grate cheese, and who is also teaching them the flamenco in his spare time.
Be happy in your body girls! If you feel beautiful the fact is others will normally see you that way.
There’s a whole fetish community around Star Trek which I know even less about than the program itself, actually, as I expose my lack of knowledge here with each additional sentence I can’t help thinking I’m the wrong man for this post.
Bit of a general one this but these girls definitely deserve a mention. Nothing sexier than a hot girl on a snowboard. Despite minimal flesh being on display there is still something insanely horny about them, perhaps it has something to do with what’s beneath all those layers. Well, pro snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler is only too happy to show us. Bleiler gave herself a black eye while trying to perfect her Crippler, an inverted spinning trick in an icy pipe before the final Olympic qualifier in 2002, that’ll teach her to show off. Growing up Gretchen wanted to go to the Olympics as a swimmer and a diver, but when she moved to Colorado she thought her way into the Games was through hockey. However, she found a way to incorporate some of the same diving and ice skating techniques through snowboarding. Good on you Gretch, we salute you.
So from a complete pro to complete amateurs that have forgotten to dress appropriately. Jo, Nelly, Eve Angel and Lisa are not gonna hear us complaining though.
This year we will be releasing a Platinum Collection title called “Blonde on Brunette,” currently being put together by in-house human editing machine Dan Da Man. The download version will feature for the first time, the original full uncut scene between Angie George and Natalie from Teenage Seduction (UK Hot Babe Seduction) which has never been seen before.
I’ve blogged before about vagina’s before, experience tells me that all girls are different as are all vagina’s. Some girls can really work the muscle, others can accept penetration with large objects easily, others find it difficult and penetration with even a normal size penis (8 inches or more I believe is average?) can be very painful, and of course there are lots of reasons why.
During the filming of this scene there was an “on-set” moment when the young Natalie made a comment about our microphone cage being like a big dildo. Angie got in on the act and both girls revealed that they have used dildos that size in their private life! Which I honestly find hard to believe. I mean I know that a woman’s vagina is a muscle and can be stretched, I’ve been told stretching and fisting is an intense experience, but our microphone cage is about 6 inches in diameter! There’s just no way, surely? I guess it’s that ‘pain is pleasure’ kind of thing. I like Natalie’s comment in this clip when asked if it hurt.
I’ve always been a big fan of Klaus Kinski, and after Sterns blog about pornographic novels it got me thinking about one of my favourite autobiographies – Kinksi Uncut, a quite hilarious, raging, sometimes tragic, and frequently pornographic documentation of the actors life, including his first sexual experience (with his sister,) and then others – an Indian giantess, a veiled Moroccan, actresses, directors’ wives, Gypsies, teenage girls, hotel maids, air stewardesses, prostitutes, nurses, converted lesbians, total strangers, his various wives, and Idi Amin's daughter. It also has one of the best, most touching and poetic epilogues I have ever read.
One of the best things Kinski ever did was have Nastassja Kinski, I has a schoolboy crush on her ever since I first saw that car-crash of a Paul Schrader film Cat People. She was great in Paris, Texas though, played a lesbian in Your Friends & Neighbours (another great film,) and was more recently seen in David Lynch’s Inland Empire. Nastassja became a model at age 13 and gained some notoriety through her nude appearances in Wim Wenders’ film The Wrong Move and To the Devil a Daughter (1976) while still a minor. She also dated Roman Polanski when she was 15 years old (he was 28 years her senior.) Nastassja later became a sex symbol in the 80s.
Another Hollywood beauty who caught my eye recently (and not because of her acting skills) is Alexis Dziena (Da-Zee-Na). The 24-year-old, 5′ 2″ New York resident is of Polish, Italian, Irish descent (a good European hop-skip-and-jump there, she must have vodka and whiskey in her Espresso!) is not just an actress but a budding playwright and drummer too (who isn’t!) So far she is best known (by me) for appearing totally nude as Sharon Stones daughter Lolita in Broken Flowers (no wonder Bill Murray did that movie), you can try Googling it but the clip was removed from Metacafe.
Next up she will play another sexpot (duh) in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist opposite that weedy virgin in Superbad.
Here’s a teasing little clip from the upcoming “Portrait of a Lesbian” starring Jo, Kyla (pictured) and featuring the lovely Lola who capped off 2008 as babe of the month.
As I’ve stated previously, the crew was indeed charmed by her when we met for the first time during the shoot and I think this moment shows the hypnotic quality her tight, young body has. It helps if you imagine yourself sat there as she undresses for you before climbing on to the bed in a most inviting manner.
Here’s a funny one I remember while filming Unfaithful 1, it was the first scene we shot with Lisa and Nella together. I think something in the way we did this generated this suppressed passion which was unleashed in later scenes, and especially the next time they met during the filming of Unfaithful 2.
I wanted Nella to just lay back with a clear mind, wipe her brain completely of thoughts, and just feel Lisa on her. So I told Lisa to blindfold Nella, and to really, really take her time with her, teasing, and to just drive her crazy so those feelings had time to build. I wanted Nella’s orgasm to eventually explode out of her so I also told Nella to hold back a little, for as long as she could, before she couldn’t keep it in any longer. After that I just shut the hell up and stood back to see what was going to happen.
More after the click…
Well…it was so agonizingly hot, so seductive, Lisa was amazing the way she paced everything, she seemed to be able to read Nella from her breathing, her movements, when she would hold her breath, release it, or tremble slightly. It just seemed to build and build and build, finally we arrived at the point where I could see Nella wanted to cum, she was wriggling around under Lisa’s expert mouth, desperately holding it back. I was sure it would come at any moment so I just waited, but she just stayed on the verge for ages it seemed, she squirmed around on the edge, gripping the headboard bars, holding her breath, biting her lip, desperately holding back her climax. When it came I was sure it would shake the building and dry up the Danube. I kept checking the time left on the tape because it was nearing the end, I had only a few minutes and I knew I could not by any means stop at this point, Nella would throttle me, so I let it go on for as long as possible before finally I had to whisper to Nella to let it come.
You can see what happened in the clip below. Of course I didn’t include her actual orgasm, you’ll have to see the movie for that!
It was the first time these girls were together, Nella didn’t get to touch Lisa’s body then, so it was even more of a tease for them. And I really believe that this build-up did something to that level of passion these girls felt for one another after this, and unleashed in later scenes. Lisa took her time so beautifully to make it special for Nella, and Nella holding onto it for so long must have really made the feeling of this orgasm a great one.
The secret life of Victorian gentleman “Walter” became slightly less secret when around 20 copies of it it were first published in Amsterdam (no surprise there) in 11 volumes between 1884 – 1894 and bought by rich, famous people like occultist Aleister Crowley and comedian Harold Lloyd for the whopping sum of £60 which is still quite expensive for a book now, but in those days was the equivalent of paying £4000 for a load of dirty stories.
Since then it has been repeatedly banned to a total of almost 100 years because it was considered incredibly obscene and pornographic. Attempts over the years to republish volumes lead to arrests and it wasn’t until 1966 when it was published in full in New York and not until 1995 that it again saw the light of day in the UK. It’s described by Critique magazine as “a parade of genitalia, pornographic writing of the most explicit and lascivious kind, often banal and repetitive.”
I can see their point, but the book is not without its charm. Well, actually it might just be, okay so it’s not without its…errr…..filth. It’s pretty strong stuff, with chapters like “My Cousins Cunts”, “A Scorching Hot Penis” and “On Cuntal Physiognomies” it leaves no uncertainty as to what is therein. Indeed, the book contains 5357 uses of the word “cunt”, (that’s almost as many as Jerry Springer The Opera) 4032 “fucks”, 3756 “pricks”, 434 “Clitori”, and 362 “spunks” to name a few. How do we know this? Because it’s on the internet and fully searchable.
Well the release of Lesbian Encounters, Viv’s much anticipated all-star mega movie is drawing ever closer. Right now it is in the hands of the Gods, aka the BBFC. So i’ll be wetting your appetite with a few teaser clips on this here blog up until the big release. Following on from Mums and Daughters we’ve really focused on the non-sex acting parts of our movies and the girls have just blown us away with their superb portrayals in their specific roles. In this clip we see Lucy Bell and Peaches doing their thing in an incredibly passionate, sexually charged and emotional scene. Enjoy.
Try saying this girls name after a few beers. The lovely Lokelani is a surfer and a triathlete who at the tender age of 18 became the youngest ever female competitor in the Hawaii Ironman Triathlon. With her model looks and A1 bod she is a joy to watch. The multi discipline event means she can swim like a fish, run like the wind and ride like a slutty sex kitten. Ok i made that last one up but here’s to hoping.
I’m not a big comic book fan but I really can’t wait for Watchmen to come out, it’s a great graphic novel (by Alan Moore) which I hope has been adapted with some justice. Set in a world where Nixon is still president and superheros are just masked vigilantes without special powers but harboring their own psychological problems, it’s going to be an interesting take on the superhero genre.
This picture of Silk Spectre (played by Malin Akerman) complete with spandex camel-toe got me thinking about all the other female superheros over the years, Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry’s Catwoman (and Berry as Storm from X-Men), Jesscia Alba as the Invisible Girl from Fantastic 4, some of the more recent Frank Miller movies (good afternoon Eve Mendez!) Lynda Carter as Wonderwoman, and of course that Supergirl movie I made when I was 16 with my mates older sister (see picture below.)
There’s something about the spandex costume don’t you think, fetishistic I know, but dominating, powerful, and tight. That might be it actually, it’s just tight.
Megan ‘Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen’ Fox stars in Academy Award Winning (and I was like HELLLOO!) screenwriter Diablo ‘and I was like whatEVER!‘ Cody’s new movie Jennifer’s Body. A gory horror-comedy about a cheerleader who is possessed by a demon and starts eating(?) her male classmates. Sounds like a fun romp.
The poster, an almost exact rip-off of HBO’s True Blood isn’t without it’s charm, and it’s directed by Karyn Kusama who also directed the first episode of The L-Word, but before we all start getting too excited, there is apparently no girlie-on-girl angle here. Which is a shame. However, I can’t see that stopping legions of fans flocking to see FHMs “Most Sexiest Woman” lose her clothes and show off her tremendous body. They can’t have given it that title for no reason!
Below are two awfully overexposed pics taken on the set of the movie. Good job photographer.
I have to admit that the nature of our industry is regrettably exclusive, some would argue discriminatory, some would argue discriminatory even to the select group it includes; young, attractive, able-bodied people. But what of the audience? What concessions do we make for the people who cannot fully enjoy one of the most popular forms of a medium of sight and sound because for them, these senses are impaired. The answer: nothing. Sorry.
So thankfully over the last few years a few heroes have taken it upon themselves to provide erotic content in a form that can connect with people that can’t see, or that can’t hear.
Pornfortheblind.org is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to producing audio descriptions of sample movie clips from adult web sites. That’s the mission statement on the website and that’s exactly what they do. Intriguingly and enticingly they invite people to submit their own descriptions. From a story I read in Metro, they’re hoping for sexier descriptions read by women (that’s what the public want) but for the moment the response to the mostly matter-of-fact descriptions has nether the less been overwhelmingly positive. Apparently, they’ve not had any abuse of the service either although on this description of 2girls1cup I can hear the guy stifling his laughter. I can’t tell if he’s slightly taking the piss out of the porn for the blind concept or whether he is honestly affected in an uncontrollable manner by the clip and the subsequent language he is obliged to use and the imagery that creates. Some clips are better off described.
Deaf Bunny on the other hand are not only the first production company to provide content specifically for deaf people, they are the first to be owned and staffed by them. Their films use a variety of methods such as sign language, thought bubbles and conventional subtitles to communicate. Again, reaction has been “totally positive” and not exclusively from the deaf; many hearing men are also supposedly fans believing that deaf women perform better, being natural, uninhibited and not trying to copy what they think an aroused woman sounds like.
When God was handing out…..well….everything, i’m pretty sure Scarlett Johansson was at the front of every queue. And even if you camped out all night to be at the front of a certain line and she strolled up just before God was about to start handing out stuff and she said ‘do you mind if i go in front?’ I’m pretty sure you’d let her. She has quite a fan base not just world wide but also here in the VT office. We love her to bits, and i’m not just talking about her two lovely, natural, full bits. No no, apparently she is quite a talented actress, you just have to look past aforementioned attributes to realise that. Unfortunately i haven’t been able to do that yet. I’d just like to say well done Scarlett, you are perfect.
I am not one for celebrity gossip, in fact, I despise the stuff, if I see a celebrity magazine I immediately tear it into shreds with the ferociousness of a starved lion attacking a monkey, and then consume it like raw chimpanzee flesh so I can digest it and later flush it down the toilet as waste matter. No, I don’t really, but blogging about this stuff at such a time I feel a little bad. Then I look deeply into Penelope Cruz’s eyes and I feel the power of beauty wash everything else away.
With all the violence, poverty and conflict affecting the world right now, I recently found myself lucky enough to be far, far away from it all in a parallel universe, watching it unfold on TV. Trying desperately to come to terms with the world I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness.
Then a Film program came on and I was comforted with something more familiar. There was a piece on the new Woody Allen movie (I like his films apart from that nervous fella who’s always in them) called Vicky Cristina Barcelona. It’s meant to be a return to form after some of the shocking, mediocre trite he’s been putting out as of late, but what can you expect from a guy who makes 12 movies a year?
Anyway blah blah blah, in the movie Peneople Cruz (I love you) and Scarlett Johansson (I love you) apparently share a kiss. No doubt this overblown hype translates to something like – they touch lips for the briefest of moments before babbling on about something-or-other while stuttering and bumbling over their words and brooding around the city Barecelona. And yup, this particular hypocritical bastard will be lining up to see this baby! I think it actually looks quite good.
I’m a sucker for flexible girls. The thought of bending them into crazy positions just drives me nuts….literally. No one comes more flexible than figure skating fox Sasha Cohen. Cohen won a silver medal in the 2006 Olympics and has since appeared on various television shows such as Las Vegas, Project Runway, and CSI:NY. This 24 year old, 5 feet 2 inch ice queen is a cutey pie that i’d love to take a bit of.
Wet dreams, I first heard about them as a teenager at school, where it seemed you weren’t a lad unless you’d had one. I hadn’t then and still haven’t, but at the time I lied my ass off, pretending I was a male Niagara falls, with bed sheets that would break glass if you threw them through the window in the morning.
Now you may be wondering where this blog came from. Well it began with a conversation with my friend the other night (who shall remain nameless), who said he regularly spunks on his girlfriends leg as they both sleep through the night (lucky girl, I’d make him wear a condom before he went to sleep).
Now he’s the same age as me and I thought this was a teenage phenomenon, but apparently 80% of men have one at some time in their life. Now as I have never had one, the whole wet dream notion still takes on the ethos of a myth to me, so I’m curious as to if this does happen to adult males or is my mate talking through his ass with breath to match.
Let me know your comments and remember there’s no need to lie as we’re not in school anymore (and if you are you shouldn’t be reading this blog). Also apparently women have wet dreams, it’s just far more common in men (and a lot more messier), then it is women. Any women out there who would like to comment on this.
I also found this discussion on a mens health board where some guys have tried to get wet dreams back into their life by abstaining from sex and masturbation, but to no avail. Maybe they should have checked out Sophie’s Wet Dreams before sleeping and they could be guaranteed to be glued to the fitted sheets in the morning.
One of my all-time favourite movies is Brian DePalma’s Blow Out. No, not because we get to see Nancy Allen’s bare breasts, come on, I’m not that low-brow, and I already made a 12 minute loop of the shower scene in the opening credits of Carrie for that (another DePalma movie).
It’s about a sound technician who whilst out recording sound effects for a new horror-exploiation film he’s working on called Coed Frenzy accidentally records a murder.
We’ve been thinking about making our own erotic-horror movie this year, maybe something like the old bare-boobs-young-girls-masked-killer films of the 70s. I love those movies. Check out the opening sequence and credits for Blow Out. Brilliant! And really, really funny too!
So given that the web has becoming this amazing living breathing thing – it’s perfect for trying to follow events from across the globe if you’re not there… isn’t it? Well you need to know exactly where to look and do some research before getting a global picture – ideally what I was searching for was some roving reporter cruising through the halls of AVN 2009 and the Internext Expo in Las Vegas with live video pumping through to my office PC of hot babes flashing for the camera.
So I did some research and found a few Tweets. Considering Jenna Haze and Belladonna are this years presenters, they got the first nod and naturally Jesse Jane cracked it too as she just can’t stop yacking about anything and everything (oh my gawd – she just ate at the Pink Taco an hour ago!). Jessica Drake is there too signing away – yawn
Naturally one of the best stops on the web for any U.S. porno news are our good friends – Fleshbot – check out their coverage of the AVN 2009 show. I heard a rumour that ImLive.com was going to be doing a live web cam feed of the event: Yes that ain’t a rumour it’s TRUE – tomorrow at 22h00 EST – (thats 03h00 GMT) – but you’ll need to give away your highly prized personal info to see it first. Kenni Styles a british porn star is off to Vegas too and is videologging his trip on YouTube – check it, peeps!
Maybe if we do another few hours research we could come up with all kinds of interesting reports on AVN 209. Actually some web developer could create a mashup of all the related stuff – ermm isn’t that what THIS is?
I’ll leave you with Jesse Jane yacking about what she is up to ice sculptures and reindeers (?) – keep your eye on YouTube – videos are coming in thick and fast!
Gina Carano is probably the toughest woman on this list to date. She's a MMA fighter as well as one of the Gladiators on the new incarnation of American Gladiators. It really is difficult to understand why tv execs keep choosing to bring that show back. I mean what’s so appealing about watching a beautiful, athletic woman like Gina getting all hot and sweaty as she rolls around and grapples with an equally hot female contestant?………um…..ok fair enough. This 26 year old spandex treat certainly won’t go down without a fight, hopefully that’s not the case when she’s in the bedroom.
Happy New Year! Although sadly the first VT blog related story I read this year was this one of the monumentally bad news that on the internet in India “browsing or downloading pornographic pictures or films will now attract a punishment of five years with a fine of up to Rs 1 million. The term may be raised to seven years on second offence.” The bill was passed without debate and apparently inspectors can raid and arrest an accused without a warrant. Oh dear. I didn’t expect that from the land that produced the Kama Sutra!
But fuck that, we can’t kick things of like that. Instead here’s a brilliant report from the National Geographic on the bizarre sex techniques of squids. The discoveries come from a study lead by the (I’ll say it) genius Henk-Jan Hoving, a Ph.D. student at the University of Groningen, Netherlands. Revelations such as internal fertilization have amazed scientists and natural historians across the world but for me have been totally eclipsed by the discovery that the male of one species drills a hole in its partner and fucks it! Yeah. While another deposits little sperm packets onto a female which dissolve body tissue and burrow into the body! The study has also identified the world’s first known transgender squid! Ancistrocheirus lesueurii.
So take that India.
And here’s to 2009 – a year of discoveries. Especially mental ones that make you go “Urrghh!”